wishful thinking

thoughts and wishes

(and here comes a feeling
you thought you'd forgotten,
so shut your eyes and hold my hand:
our hearts will whisper lullabies
and our lungs will hum a tune.)

she liked the way their fingers met
how delicate and easily broken she felt
she knew she had to try
paper thin and heavy hearted
she knew she had to fly.

(we can stay as long as you like, you know
time will change nothing
love will change everything
love will not tear us apart
love will keep us together.)

she knew not to believe these words
that tumbled out of her mouth
because of all the people she trusted,
she could not trust herself.

but she repeated them over and over
a spell with her own magic,
and then she fell, believing
perhaps this time
things would be different.

(time will change nothing
love will change everything
love will not tear us apart
love will keep us together.)

'promises were not made for breaking,'
she thought,
they were not as breakable as she.

x

holding her together

blue veins

And upon her arms
pressed against the light,
there they were:
fragile and thin and easily broken,
indescribable and all her own.

It was like the patterns she liked to find
from the cold tree branches
that once lived
outside her bedroom window,
indescribable and all her own.

x

cassandra ainsworth.

I've been tagged by the lovely Erimentha, to do this tag.
I've done it once before, but I do love it so much!
It's Cassie's therapy video;
she's my favourite character from Skins, and while I adore her,
I often find she makes me cry so much.

I will do the tags sometime tonight/tomorrow:
it will be to new bloggers/followers :)
(the things in bold are what you have to fill out!)

"I didn't eat for three days, so I could be lovely."

Abracadabra, Wow!

I like boys with funny laughs and lovely arms
and girls with long scarves and wild dreams.
I like holding hands for awkward lengths of time,
I like letters and letterboxes,
I like going for slow walks when everyone's still asleep,
I like collarbones, but not my own,
I like comfortable silences.
I love loving everyone and everything.

Today I received two letters in my locker, and it made my day.

"In some ways, I love everything.
Its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular
I like things that I like but I love everything
There’s more choice in like
Cos even the worst things have things you love in them
I don’t know what you mean about things I hate."

I hate missing people and places of the past,
I hate the feeling of tears running down my face,

I hate letting people down,
I hate being too busy to just be,
I hate sleeping alone,

I hate heavy rain and strong winds
but in a way, I love sitting in bed during a storm.
I hate having to let go, even though I know I have to,
I hate the sound of ambulances.

I hate this, wow. . .
Sorry.

x

nonsensical

these are words strung together with no real meaning
and with a childish lack of punctuation
in a way it feels so simple
like it used to be when we were young

sunday morning
and my voice is gone
but my heart is full

yet this does not mean
it is heavy
nor hard to carry

as it does not burden
but lifts me up
and keeps me here
a bit like gravity

a contradiction though
my body is in a constant struggle
between Newton's Laws
and the hope I feel

it's just so easy
to fly away
it's just so easy
let's fly away now.

--


How adorable is this girl?! I want one!

How is everyone?
I hope you're swell, and your weekend treats you well :)
I love getting emails, so do send me one if you have the time!
lets.flyawaynow@live.com.au

You're all lovely, and I always love hearing what you have to say!
All my love,

x

words constantly fall through me

Everything's relative.
If you think about it, infinity is merely made up of uncountable days, hours, minutes and seconds.
I feel as though what we perceive as immeasurable and unknown,
is so much closer and familiar to us than we realise.
I know that most of us are scared of the unknown,
because it's the fear of uncertainty,
the fear that there nobody has experienced such endless entities.
And I think we're all a little scared of dying,
not because nobody has died before,
but because nobody else has ever lived as us before.

Nobody has ever heard and seen all the things we have,
nobody has ever felt and thought the way we do,
and it's a bit unnerving when you're the only you.

--

I think that sometimes my fears can be summed up
in questions I am not brave enough to want answered.
What if death falls short of our expectations?
What if life falls short of our expectations?
Yet, what if life exceeds our expectations?

because the truth is,
it's all up to you.
Expect more,
live more.

--

So many people have passed through this world,
having done glorious things and dreamt of infinite hopes,
having aspired and inspired,
having breath and beat
having life and love,
just like you and me.

x

girls just wanna have fun

Hello lovelies!
Unfortunately, this is not an interesting post.
I'm so sorry I haven't been posting at all;
as I said before, this has been the most hectic term ever!
Once exams are over, I promise I'll be here more often :)

Thankyou so much for all your wonderful comments;
yes, I did write it myself,
but goodness me, you make me out to be
much more amazing than I am, people!

All I want right now is sleep and cuddles and more sleep!
I can't wait for summer!

I have so much to say,
but unfortunately chemistry notes need to be written!
Joy.

--

GPOYW;
Gratuitous Picture of Yourself Wednesday,
summer dress edition.

My webcam is of good quality, non?
Non.

I've bought a few new ones,
and they quite excite me, so I thought I'd share, :)

1. smile
2. dinosaur
3. moustache
(which yes, I did grow myself!)
4. heart
(this is my lovelovelove for you all)

I hope you're having a glorious time,
how has the weather been for you lately?

Love, always,

x

existence

the air you breathe at midnight
is full of ghosts of words you have not dreamed,
forgotten memories and days and years,
regretful tears before goodbyes,
the life and love of everything and everyone.

sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight
of all those unspoken words I am not yet brave enough to pronounce.

x

some awards (finally) and tags for you lovelies!

happy six months!

Hello!
I know it's been a while - almost a week,
which is crazcrazycrazy!
I've just gotten home from my piano exam,
and my goodness, it's over and I'm still alive :)

I've had some tags/awards waiting for a long time,
so I decided to finally post them today!
It's a bit long, and after this I plan on posting some of the things
I've written these past few weeks that I haven't quite posted.

I really want to thank you all,
for all the comments and support and follows!
I can't believe it's been 6 months,
it feels a bit mad, doesn't it?

I mean, there are 125 people who are following me,
which is like, the number of people in my year level at school.
I think.
I'm actually not too sure.

It's a big number, though.
All my love to you wonderful people :)

So, anyway, here are the tags/awards:

Nicole gave me this award,
and it has me giggling.
This is for all you funny ones out there,
who are made of pure awesomeness.

--

Thankyou to the lovely Stacey, and Heidi Rose,
who both nominated me for this award!

here are the rules:
one. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
two. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
three. Link the person who nominated you for this award.
four. Write seven things that a small number of curious folk might be interested in.
five. Nominate seven Kreativ Bloggers.
six. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
seven. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated.

seven facts:

• I love watching lightning while sitting in bed. I am terrified of thunder, though. This is why I sit in bed; so I can hide under the covers with my puppy when we get scared.
  
• I like letters much more than I like numbers.
  
• I like wearing ribbons in my hair and belts on dresses.
  I like colourful scarves and necklaces and long hair.
  
• I have a puppydog, a rabbit and a turtle; and they all roam around my garden.
  
• I love getting letters, and writing letters.
  
• I love it when the paper comes out warm from the printer.
• I love awkward people. I love people who aren't awkward.
  

I pass this on to:
Sara
Bambola
Erimentha

Sanchez
Nicole
White Rabbit
you!

--

Thankyou to the beautiful Sara,
who has given me this award :)

I pass it on to all my followers,
for their blogs are truly lovely;
you will have to go and check them out!

--

I'll be popping these badboys into my sidebar soon,
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!
(x8329749234kjnk879lsk)

I love you! x

i'll hold your hand

please know that I wrote this a while ago,
it does not apply to who I am now, right now.

"everything was beautiful and nothing hurt."

I can't breathe I can't eat I can't live like this
I am so stressed and too aware of expectations
I want to be there for everyone because
I don't want to ever have to say no
I'm being pulled in all directions
to stop them from falling apart
and before I know I'm gone, myself
I'm broken in places I didn't know could hurt

I need this all to be over so badly
I can feel myself fading away
I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick I'm sick
It will be okay.

it is okay,
it was that time of stress that I think almost everyone goes through,
when they truly don't know if they'll make it.
I dithered over posting this,
it's not poetic, it's not anything lovely,
but it's how I felt at that time,
in words so simple and precise.

Please know that if you're ever in such a state,
tell someone, anyone.
There will always be someone there for you.
I'll be there for you, one way or another.

x

the reality

because sometimes I feel like I am constantly waiting.
I'm waiting for someone and something, anyone and anything,
I'm waiting for truths and answers and reality to hit me hard.

It doesn't, though; it never does.
Reality more or less catches me,
like if I were to bungee jump over the edge
falling and falling and falling and falling
and then to be caught and pushed up again,
that's what reality does to me.

And you are so grateful to be alive,
adrenaline pumping,
hands shaking,
lungs aching,
and the look in your eyes
when your pupils dilate
in the most beautiful fear.

x