Life disperses through me, resulting in emotion strewn across worlds:
oceans absorbing melancholy (waves are merely the wrinkles of pensive minds)
love stolen by the moon (full from the blush of young romantics)
courage is fed to the wolves, fear has gone with the wind -
even nostalgia becomes swallowed by the six o'clock shadow.
Only fatigue remains; akin to aching on a summer's day,
'How terribly strange it is to be alive,' we cry.
Then, in the midst of exhaustion, existential vows
what we had lost is returned, ten-fold
( an orchestra )
arriving with nothing more than the will to be:
everything is beautiful and everything hurts.
(And life goes on.)
--
I know it has been a while: I have been lost in living, preparing for senior year (at my sixteenth year of life), do you ever find yourself weary of existing? Not only the slings and arrows that Shakespeare calls: but the joys and beauties, too. In any case, I am content, right now - the words are coming back, albeit reluctantly at times (my vocabulary suffers during the holidays) so forgive my lack of eloquence in this post, as well as my unfortunate ability to prattle.Love, love, love
x
p.s. I think I've been reading too much Oscar Wilde... I'm scared of developing this inner monoluge that is spoken in an old English accent that dramatizes every little detail and has a sense of general ~morose-ness~ and ~melancholy~ and involves everyone dying. Not really what I consider an ideal disposition (again, attempts at light-hearted comedy to balance the otherwise seemingly depressing post! And again, failing miserably)
p.s. I think I've been reading too much Oscar Wilde... I'm scared of developing this inner monoluge that is spoken in an old English accent that dramatizes every little detail and has a sense of general ~morose-ness~ and ~melancholy~ and involves everyone dying. Not really what I consider an ideal disposition (again, attempts at light-hearted comedy to balance the otherwise seemingly depressing post! And again, failing miserably)
.jpg){kind=small}
oh athena,
ReplyDeleteyour writing could never not be described as eloquent. never. and as for feeling weary of existing? yes. an awful lot of the time. the feeling comes and goes, even when surrounded by beauty.
I agree with the first comment, so much. Your writing is stunning. I'm so glad you're writing again - Your words are worth a million pearls. (I also understand what you mean about the holidays, I always let myself go a tad, with my vocabulary/writing). xxx
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAthena,
ReplyDeleteI know precisely how you feel in regards to weary from existing--especially the joys and beauties. It's all very exhausting, but I love every glorious second of it, no? You are amazing.
xoxo
for a day I'll be weary of existence, but the next day I'll thrive on it.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, Athena, this is beautiful. I think it is one of the beautifulest compositions of yours I have ever read. There is so much depth and soul in your words. I always feel, when reading your writing, that I am learning the secrets of the world. And the photograph is simply sublime. (Ps. Eloquence is one thing you never lack.) x
ReplyDeleteWow, that a beautiful poem! It's really great - I don't see weariness taking a toll on these words, though I can totally relate to how you're feeling. I think we all feel fatigued at the beginning of a journey. We're told we're not supposed to, but, you know, it seems to be true the more I think about it. Hang in there :)
ReplyDeletedear athena, your eloquence is truly ever-present. this entire post was poetic, lyrical and beautiful. even under fatigue's heavy weight, you are a gem! xx
ReplyDeleteI too have been lost in preparing for my senior years in high school. It's amazing how fast it comes and how overwhelming preparations are.
ReplyDeletePS your writings are beautiful.
♥
ReplyDeleteI could easily express how I feel right now in a few mere words, but honestly, what's the point? your writing is so beautiful.
keep being beautiful. please.
xo scarzz
Your writing makes me be ashamed of myself when I try to express how much I love this blog. With my vocabulary I can only say: I love this.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I am very weary that if I could make my own world, it would be idle. Just merely drinking coffee and reading and sitting and looking pretty. None of this lessons which I find useless.
ReplyDeleteAthena, I cannot distinguish whether your words yesterday was better than it is now for they are equally perfect.
oh my, i'm swallowed by your (really true) words and i can't believe why i haven't been thinking of this.
ReplyDeleteyou are so right, my dear!
xx
oh athena, so glad you're back. I have my moments too-- sometimes I only have a few words, and sometimes there are too many to remember. the world comes and goes and I think that must be such a wonderful part of its beauty.
ReplyDeleteanyhow, I do love this lots. sixteen must be an exciting number, as senior year must be. you are blossoming more and more before us, can't imagine what you'll eventually become, or whether there's a limit to that.
lots of love. xx
such a beautiful post, dear. amazing writing, so amazing.
ReplyDeletexxxx
lovely post, really, just lovely!
ReplyDeleteoh my word. dear athena, you are a magician with words, forming them into such lovely daisy chains. <3 really and truly, you are such a fabulous writer, love. and i myself am in my senior year, too!
ReplyDelete+thank you so so much for the comment on my blog. xo
remarkably beautiful!! What words to wake up too!! Thank you for your sweet comment on my blog, I appreciate it. Wish you a gorgeous monday!! xxxx
ReplyDeleteHow is it that I can feel so trapped but instantly alleviated when I read your words? You set me free, Athena. I don't understand how you could not think yourself constantly eloquent, because through my eyes (and the eyes of many others, I gather) your words are like spun gold. You could un-string an old wool sweater and re-spin it, shining and new-like a set of wings. Athena, you create magic. You create worlds within each syllable you imagine. No forces could ever halt you from producing such I think perhaps they are too astounded by your aura to truly disrupt anything you do.
ReplyDeleteLife will hold you back and leave your head spinning at times, but unlike many who fall-you always seem to stay directly on track. It's part of the reason why I look up to you.
I begin my final year of schooling at a new place in just over a week and I am entirely unsure of how to feel. I'll just see where this new chapter takes me. But until then, yes dear, I am weary.
Yours,
Norah xx
ps. Thank you for your kind words. They sprouted tiny tears in my eyes! I do not understand how you could think those things, but perhaps that is why (especially coming from you), they touched me so greatly. I adore you.
how can this be called eloquent? you have expressed yourself so clearly, sweetly, beautifully, and maybe a little weary...
ReplyDeleteand yes, how can the world be so beautiful at the same time painful... why does it hurts so much, just reading on your words babe, it makes me stop and think and realize...
♥p.s, thanks for your lovely comment to my blog. i'm your new follower! -haze
Your writing is absolutely heartbreakingly beauitful. It's like your words reach out and touch my heart for a moment.
ReplyDeletebeautiful post. And you use so many difficult words that I need to see a dictionary haha. But seriously, this is so beautiful! :)
ReplyDeleteI must echo everyone else and say I do not belive you are ever not eloquent! You always express things so beautifully. I know what it is to be a prism - though I could never have thought to express it that way.
ReplyDelete(P.S. - Thank you for leaving such sweet comments on my music blog. They really do mean the world to me! <3)
your poems and photographs are so enchanting! I can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your darling comments, I hope you're having a star dancing week!
xo, Strawberry Moth
Hahah; I wanted to comment on your eloquence; and when I realise that everyone here is commenting on that; you should be convinced by now(: Your use of language is amazing; this is my first time on your blog and I felt as though I had to thread carefully and read your words over and over to comprehend and grasp what you are trying to portray. It's beautiful. <3
ReplyDeleteAthena dear, your words set me out to fly. Simply stunning!
ReplyDeleteThe above comments have said it all.
You write beautifully.
I'm glad you enjoy the Yann Tiersen song.
I wish you graceful, and lovely days!
LOVE!
You are a wonderful writer, really magical. Thank you darling for the lovely comment.
ReplyDeleteyou are a beautiful prism.
ReplyDeletexo
"waves are merely the wrinkles of pensive minds"
ReplyDeleteOh, you made me sigh there. Such a beautiful sentence!
Your words, your precious words!
ReplyDeleteyou're writing is beautiful. your words hit me hard lovely Athena
ReplyDeletelove abigail
if you're weary of joys and beauties, then they are the wrong joys and beauties. you will find the ones that never exhaust you, i know it :)
ReplyDeletebeautiful words as always xx
One day you will write a best-seller. I know it, i just do.
ReplyDeleteAnd when that day comes, i will be your biggest fan.
Much love,
k xo
You will be always a rainbow to me. :) xx
ReplyDeleteYour writing is just exquisite. Are you really just sixteen? I've created a folder of favourite blogs, those with writing that moves me. I've added you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment on mine.
x
The way you write is so amazingly beautiful <3
ReplyDelete